Have you tried to meditate but given up because it was too difficult and frustrating?
As a yoga and meditation teacher, I get it.
In this article, I discuss 6 common obstacles that I’ve seen individuals do when starting meditation, and how to overcome them.
So the next time you meditate you’ll feel more confident and be better equipped to face these challenges.
The most common phrases I hear when I talk with people about meditation are:
“Meditation? Yeah. I’ve tried it. It doesn’t work for me. I can’t switch my brain off.”
Or
“I don’t get it. I’ve read the books, got the apps and know what to do. Yet, it still doesn’t work.”
Or, the ambiguous, “Think about it! Me? No way. Even if you paid me, I couldn’t relax — I’m too busy.”
Swiftly followed up by, “the last time I did it, I got trapped on the floor … my back/knees started playing up, and I couldn’t get back up.”
And the most popular responses:
“I have too much going on; I don’t have time to sit down and do nothing.”
“I can’t stop thinking”, “what am I supposed to do with all these thoughts? ….”
Even though I have nearly two decades worth of personal meditation practices left to my own devices, I would have probably given up within the first week!
So I get it.
I understand and can relate to what you are going through and where you are coming from.
Fortunately, I have had excellent teachers throughout the years. I have picked up a few tips, skills and techniques that support me get beyond these obstacles.
I can now reflect on the steps I took to establish a consistent meditation practice that keeps me nourished and confident in recovering from the ups and downs of daily life.
I encourage you to try meditation again if you find it difficult.
I believe meditation can enrich our lives and help us follow our mutual values of living in a more sustainable, healthy, inclusive, and kinder society.
So, the next time you hesitate and doubt if you’ll have time to meditate and grab a cup of coffee before work, don’t worry.
Once you’ve read this article and tried the suggested prompts, you’ll be able to do both easily!
So, grab that mug of coffee or your favourite beverage, and let’s discuss the six common obstacles that get in the way of your meditating.
Here are the six most common obstacles people face while meditating:
- Believing the Big Meditation Lie
- Having a busy mind
- Feeling tired
- Juggling a hectic schedule
- Living with physical, emotional and mental limitations/medical conditions
- Experiencing guilt
Meditation Obstacle #One: Believing the “Big Meditation Lie”
As a Black woman who meditates and teaches yoga and meditation, “The Big Meditation Lie” is top of the Obstacles List.
‘The Big Meditation Lie’, as I like to call it, is the “Perfect Meditation Scenario” that has been marketed to all of us. This image prevents some people from even starting meditation as they believe it is not for people like them.
Do you know the Perfect Meditation Scenario one I’m talking about?
If you look around the web, you’ll see various iterations of the same theme:
A white, young, slim, pretty woman, hair in a ponytail, wearing skin-tight gym wear. She is sitting in the lotus position, on the floor or on a beach; she looks satisfied with life, living and loving the moment — it looks so inviting, simple and doable.
We think, what is difficult about that?
It seems easy — you sit down, close your eyes and relax. Viola! Nirvana.
And believe we can do it as well.
However, if you are like most people I work and chat with, despite the popular Perfect Meditation Scenario, fidget and struggle to get down and sit comfortably on the floor.
Some people have a medical condition; some use wheelchairs and other mobility aids; others have mental health issues that make it hard for them to concentrate and sit on the floor.
And that’s OK.
However, even if you can get down to sit on the floor, people quickly realise meditation is more complex than it looks.
It’s true.
Our minds can’t settle.
Our bodies do ache.
The time drags.
We chastise ourselves that we can’t even “sit still and be quiet for 5 minutes” without thinking about sending a text message, replaying an argument with our friend, or wondering what to have for dinner.
Our pets, children, and notifications from our mobile devices distract us.
And worse of all, we end up feeling frustrated, a failure.
Discouraged, the aspiring vision of inner peace and calm fades, and after a few efforts, would-be meditators give up.
What to do instead
Believe in yourself.
In contrast to The Big Lie, aka The Perfect Meditation Scenario, we are sold that there is no one way or position to meditate.
Originally meditation was for seers;
nowadays, it is inclusive, accessible and open to anyone willing to try, including people with ADHD, war veterans, women over 50, Black seniors, people with disabilities, stressed-out parents, medical staff, people serving custodial sentences, farmers, pregnant women, carers, and children.
Despite the popular image of someone sitting upright and serenely on the floor — please don’t believe this myth.
You don’t need to sit on the floor in a full lotus position— you can sit on a chair/wheelchair, lie down on your bed, sit on the edge of your bed, or a cushion.
You can even go for a mindful walk or mindfully do an activity.
Your main priority is to ensure you are comfortable and your body is safely supported.
Depending on your physical capabilities, with time and practice, you may, if you want to, learn how to sit on the floor without support over the lifetime of practising, but there is no rush.
There is not just “one way” or “one style of meditation” or a “right or wrong way to meditate.”
There are numerous styles and types of meditation practices and techniques you can explore and try.
If one particular technique and position doesn’t “work” for you, that’s OK.
Meditation is a life-long journey of growth and deep inner awareness.
If you miss a few days, that’s OK. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Find another technique, teacher, or app and see the difference.
Meditation is a life-enhancing skill, so please don’t give up your search.
The following 3 blog articles provide clear examples of the various meditation techniques you can try.
23 Types of Meditation — Find the Best Meditation Technique for You
What are the Different Types of Meditation
28 Best Meditation Techniques for Beginners to Learn
Please look at these blogs, and let me know what techniques you have tried and what works or doesn’t work for you.
The important thing is to start.
Any obstacles you notice along the way will give you the chance to pause, reflect, adapt and adjust your practice to fit in with your current life situation.
After dispelling that myth, let’s examine the other obstacles that prevent people from meditating.
Meditation Obstacle #Two: Having a busy mind
As a meditation teacher, I often hear statements like:
“I can never stop thinking.”
“I have so many thoughts in my head.”
“I’m worried all the time. My brain just can’t switch off.”
Or
“I have so many things to do. I’m overwhelmed and can’t think clearly.”
We lead stressful lives that leave us feeling overstimulated and exhausted. Our growing dependence on technology (think of our attachment to our phones and electronic devices) negatively and positively affects our mental health.
We are easily distracted as the demands on our attention leave us feeling scattered and disorientated as we struggle to concentrate, focus, and relax when we meditate.
But let me reassure you — that is OK.
That feeling of having a busy, overstimulated, active mind is perfectly normal.
Did you know that the average person has around 50,000 thoughts per day!
And considering there are 1400 minutes in a day, that means (if my maths is correct!) we have at least 35 thoughts a minute!
No wonder you have a busy mind and struggle to stay focused!
Our minds are full of thoughts.
And suppose we are honest and take an inventory of our thoughts. In that case, you’ll notice variations of the same opinions throughout the day. As a side note, how many of these thoughts uplift and nourish you?
Be honest.
I would say at least 60% of my thoughts are self-critical, wanders all over the place and do not help me grow and live my best life.
One of the most challenging aspects of meditation is the ability to concentrate and keep your mind from wandering.
Most meditation techniques invite you to relax, release tension from your body, and encourage your mind to slow down and focus on the point of concentration as part of the practice.
However, our minds have a mind of their own, and when you sit to meditate, you realise just how active your mind is.
The whirlwind of cascading thoughts- from remembering online passwords to arguing with yourself what is the best toothpaste to buy for sensitive gums, and what to cook for dinner…(real-life example. Me this morning!)
We lose focus, find it hard to settle, and then the negative thought of “this doesn’t work, I’m no good at this” creeps in, and we “promise tomorrow, I will start properly.” Anxiously worrying in case “tomorrow is another repeat of today.”
This pull and lure of our thoughts is tiring and makes it hard to concentrate and stay focused. So, it is understandable why most people struggle to get started and build a consistent meditation practice.
What to do instead
Calm your mind down first. Practice easy yoga breathing exercises to calm your mind
The ancient art of yoga offers many tools to help you relax your body, calm down, and steady your mind.
The original purpose of yoga was to prepare your mind and body to sit in meditation.
Yoga breathing exercises, known as Pranayama, are ideal practices to help you address your busy mind syndrome and help steady your mind.
A few rounds of mindful breathing, see the video below, is an ideal preparation to steady and settle your thoughts as you prepare to meditate.
The art of meditation, and when you KNOW it’s working, is that moment when you notice your mind is wondering, and rather than follow the thought/s, you pause.
Repeat to yourself, “ahh, that’s a thought. I am thinking.”
And use that insight as a reminder to return to your original meditative focus.
So rather than trying to clear the mind of all thoughts, the process is to notice and be aware of your thoughts and then consciously bring them back to your point of concentration.
The more you notice your mind wandering and consciously bring your attention back to “what you are supposed to be doing,” that is the practice — you are meditating.
You are training your mind to develop that single conscious focus of attention. Congratulations!
Meditation Obstacle #Three: Feeling tired
From experience, I know how easy it is to fall asleep while meditating.
It is simple to do.
You sit down to meditate, and because you are so tired from running around all day, you find yourself slouching, swaying, nodding off, and eventually falling asleep.
What to do instead:
Get more rest!
Sleep is your body’s way to rest and repair.
If you are drifting off to sleep while meditating, accept what your body tells you.
You need more rest. If you can, go to bed and sleep.
You will wake up refreshed and in a better state to meditate.
If you can’t sleep, maybe you are at work or have grabbed a few minutes out of the day to refresh; try doing a few rounds of yoga breathing exercises or practice these three simple yoga poses to boost your energy.
If all else fails and you have 25 minutes before you go to bed, lie down and listen to a Yoga Nidra meditation.
Yoga Nidra is a widespread meditation practice to facilitate restful sleep.
Sleep deprivation is a vicious cycle. The more you meditate, the more energy you’ll have, but you won’t be able to meditate as much if you are sleep deprived.
Meditation Obstacle #Four: Juggling a hectic schedule
One common reason people begin to meditate is to stop the frantic rushing around and lack of time for self-care that leads to burnout.
It can seem impractical to squeeze another activity into your packed day, especially if you have a diary of back-to-back work appointments and family commitments.
You know caring for yourself is essential, yet the competing demands on your time leave little time for you to de-stress, unwind and fit in meditation.
The never-ending list of things to do, along with feeling overburdened and lacking the time, trying to fit everything in is a significant obstacle to practising meditation.
What to do instead
I will repeat it. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
Meditation is a skill you cultivate over your lifetime.
You do not have to “get it right” the first or even the 100th time you try it.
Once you have decided you wish to build meditation into your schedule, I always suggest that clients start small.
Instead of saying how much meditation can you do at any one time, ask yourself,
“What is the minimum amount of meditation you can do at once?”
Set the bar as low as possible.
Trust me on this, a one-minute meditation practised as you transition between daily tasks is a perfect way to develop your meditative muscle!
Remember, you don’t need to go to an Ashram or sit rigidly in the lotus position to meditate.
When you start meditation, it is easy to be enthusiastic and thinks you can meditate anytime, anywhere.
You can.
However, to develop that deep, sustainable calm and serenity only come from making meditation a priority in your life and practising it regularly.
And, finding that initial space in your schedule to meditate takes time and effort to make it a regular fixture in your calendar.
So start small and build up from there.
Remember to be gentle and practical regarding your time availability.
A good idea that has worked well for me is to find a meditation buddy. You don’t have to meditate in the same place, but find someone who will agree to hold you accountable.
When I started meditation, my friend and I took turns phoning each other every morning while setting up our meditation schedule.
We always set a time to call each other. As meditation buddies, we held each other accountable, shared our experiences, and reflected on our practice.
Particularly in the winter, when it was chilly and dark and we had early morning accountability calls, I would rather stay in bed than get up and meditate. I found it highly beneficial to have that added support and nudge to keep me going.
Meditation Obstacle #Five: Living with different abilities, emotional, mental & medical conditions
People have different abilities.
Some of us use wheelchairs or other mobility devices.
Other people who live with depression, and addictions, experience chronic pain.
Suppose you are deaf or hard of hearing or have mental health issues?
In these cases, you must contend with the impact of ableism as you adapt your meditation practice to meet your personal needs.
For example, medication might make it more challenging to focus and relax your body and mind.
Depending on your medical condition and health status, you may not be able to use the standard meditation prompts, such as “sense and feel your breath,” “sit in a comfortable upright position”, “hear sounds in the room,” and “scan your body”, or have control over your physical body.
Sitting in a dimly lit room and being told to close your eyes and focus on your breath can traumatise some people.
What to do instead
Fortunately, rather than perpetuate the Perfect Meditation Scenario, the yoga and meditation industry is gradually becoming more conscious of the need to be more inclusive and provide resources and services to meet the diverse wants, needs and desires of everyone within the community who wants to learn how to meditate.
Unfortunately, the industry still has a long way to go.
Suppose you have different abilities and health challenges and are unsure how this will affect your meditation practice. In that case, it is up to you to decide if you wish to speak up and let your teacher or app designers know what your concerns are and work out what works or doesn’t work for you.
You must trust yourself.
Know that you belong, and meditation is an adaptable skill that can support your physical and mental wellbeing.
Look for classes, meditation apps, and teachers, who see you, invite you in and make space for you. And who can offer resources, support, and advice to help tailor meditation to your specific medical, mental, and physical needs.
The three resources listed below can help you on your path to meditation:
Why your meditation lesson must be more accessible
Meditation Obstacle #Six: Experiencing guilt
Our world is incredibly work-focused and competitive.
Women frequently shoulder most of the emotional and domestic labour in their families and places of employment, particularly Black and Brown women and those who identify as individuals with marginalised identities.
Stereotypically, men are socialised to be “manly, strong, and the provider.” In contrast, women are seen as “the caregivers and responsible for the emotional nurturing of the family.”
Most people, especially those with marginalised identities, avoid taking the first step and exploring meditation when we reach a crisis point in our lives due to a lifetime habit of making life easier for others and the fear of rocking the boat.
It is challenging to express our vulnerabilities, look for support, and make time for self-care because of the roles and expectations that society has placed on us. It is tough to break free from these roles.
We may think about trying to meditate, yet out of fear of being labelled “selfish,” “lazy,” “a loser,” or “weird,” we suffer in silence.
What to do instead
I know it sounds cliche and probably not what you want to hear, but “learning to love yourself first” and prioritising your wellbeing is crucial to meditate and get on in life.
However, suppose you find a supportive teacher or community as you experience the many benefits of regular meditation. In that case, it becomes easier for you to set and reinforce the boundaries that support your self-care meditation journey.
And by practising meditation techniques like loving-kindness meditation and mindfulness for self-compassion meditation, you can cultivate more self-kindness, self-compassion, and less self-criticism.
So, if you feel guilty about spending time meditating, use these meditation techniques, which will help you build the confidence and courage to take better care of yourself.
Next Steps
Even while learning to meditate seems simple, it is difficult.
It is challenging, and there are many meditation mistakes to avoid and obstacles to overcome.
The journey from a novice to an experienced practitioner of meditation is helped by being aware of the six most common barriers people encounter while meditating:-
- Believing the Big Meditation Lie
- Having a busy mind
- Feeling tired
- Juggling a hectic schedule
- Living with physical, emotional and mental limitations/medical conditions
- Experiencing guilt
And taking steps to minimise the likelihood that they will prevent you from practising is key to keep on meditating.
Now that you know more about the obstacles we face when meditating, which one stands out for you and from your experience, what barrier have I missed?
Please reply in the comments, and if you’d like more support to develop and enhance your meditation practice, sign up for my weekly-ish newsletter, Restore Hope. Click here to get started.
Thank you for reading my perspective, and may you and your loved ones be happy, healthy, safe and well.
Photo by processingly on Unsplash – Thank you
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