even if you are having a hard time, you can still live a calm and peaceful life
Everyone wants to live a calm and peaceful life.
To sleep well.
Enjoy warm relationships with loved ones.
To get along at family gatherings and have fun relationships with friends and companionship with work colleagues.
Most of all, to feel loved and accepted — quirks at all.
However, being human, we often end up arguing, fighting and falling out with each other, or overcommitting ourselves at work, leading to disharmony and discontent.
So, in this article, we will explore three simple mindfulness exercises — gratitude meditation, loving-kindness meditation, and mindful breathing — you can use today to help you reclaim your inner calm and sense of happiness — even when dealing with stressful situations at home or work:
While we can’t singularly change the status quo, whatever stressful situation you are going through, finding ways to live in the world and experience inner calm and peace is possible, so let’s start right where you are, in the present moment.
Why do we struggle with self-care
With so much at stake, prioritising our mental health needs to be our #1 priority.
Black women and people with intersectional identities have the added pressure to coexist and navigate conflict in a world that struggles to value our worth. Coupled with the global impact of Covid-19, many people feel disconnected, living in isolation and fear within communities.
Finding ways to meditate, be more mindful and integrate our mindfulness self-care practices into daily life helps us experience inner calm and know peace is possible.
I know that is hard to believe, so let me explain.
The benefits of mindfulness meditation for mental health
I believe in the power of meditation and mindfulness practises to support our heartfelt desires to live in a calm and peaceful world without causing harm to others and exploiting and destroying the planet.
And because of my 60 years of lived experience as a Black woman in the UK, 13 years working as a probation officer in economically disadvantaged inner city London boroughs, and 20+ years of teaching, studying, and practising yoga and meditation, all while juggling parenting my three now-adult daughters, I am aware that the majority of people push themselves hard, struggle to get by, and rush through life while ignoring their bodies’ natural cues to rest, reset, and recharge.
This results in a nervous system permanently stuck in hypervigilant mode, which weakens our immune systems and makes us more susceptible to auto-immune disorders and stress-related symptoms like migraines, high blood pressure, diabetes, depression and even burn-out.
What is mindfulness meditation?
Mindfulness meditation is a practice of paying loving attention to our environment, acknowledging the impact on our thoughts, feelings and emotions and making the conscious choice to think, feel and behave more intentionally, loving and kind towards ourselves and others.
Given our society’s structural imbalances and unconscious biases, it is always challenging to be loving and kind. And that’s where the following three mindfulness meditation exercises come into play and strengthen our ability to be peaceful and calm daily.
Mindfulness meditation exercise #1 Be Grateful Every Day
I used to think gratitude was a form of spiritual bypassing, keeping me stuck in my place and PollyAnna thinking,
However, learning to be grateful and practice gratitude has been pivotal in my healing journey and helps keep me anchored, hopeful and grounded in my life.
Gratitude requires mindfulness and noticing what you have right now in the present moment and not what you don’t have or want to have. We can develop this skill to reduce stress, anxiety and worry and appreciate more of the good stuff going on in our life and the world.
Gratitude practices
Here are three simple gratitude meditation exercises you can do straight away to release worry and invite a sense of calm and happiness into your heart.
- Gratitude Affirmations
Affirmations are powerful, positive declarations you say in the present tense to show appreciation for something you notice: For example, before a meal, whisper a prayer of gratitude for the food you are about to eat; for the many hands — and lives involved in growing and cultivating the food.
2. Bedtime Gratitude Routine
As you are getting ready for bed, take a moment to reflect on your day and write 3 to 5 things you appreciated about the day. I have an alarm on my phone set for 8.50 pm with a note to write 1–5 Good Things I Enjoyed Today. When the alarm goes off, it prompts me to pause, scan my day, and list 1–5 happy moments in the note app on my phone.
3. Gratitude Jar
Instead of keeping cookies in your cookie jar, keep a Gratitude Jar with slips of paper nearby. Write down something you are grateful for each day and place it in the jar. You can write your Bedtime Gratitude on paper and pop it into the cookie jar to save time! Whenever you need a boost, pick out a gratitude cookie from the jar to remind yourself of the good things in your life.
Reflection prompt
What impact did stopping and practising gratitude have on your mood and next activity?
BONUS: Gratitude read: I have publicly shared my yearly gratitude round-up for the last two years, Gratitude: 101 things I’m grateful for in 2021 and Gratitude: 60 Good Things That Happened to Me In 2022
Mindfulness meditation exercise #2 Loving Kindness meditation
Loving-kindness meditation, also known as Metta meditation, is a powerful practice that helps us to cultivate greater feelings of compassion, kindness, care, and acceptance.
I first learned about “cultivating kindness” while going through a terrible divorce and feeling guilty, worthless, and very critical of how I judged, spoke to, and treated myself.
As I began practising loving-kindness meditations and learning to set the intention, it almost felt like a “wish” to be kinder and more gentle towards myself was an eye-opener. It set me on the path to feeling less angry, alienated, and disconnected from myself and others.
Loving-Kindness Practices
Here are three short loving-kindness meditation exercises and phrases that you can use to set your intention to be kinder to yourself when you’re feeling frustrated, unhappy, or sad.
- Self-Compassion
Close your eyes, place your hand over your heart, and repeat 3 to 10 times to yourself, “May I be kind to myself. May I be patient and caring? May I find peace and happiness?”
2. Loving-Kindness Phrases
Find your breath.
Soften your shoulders and repeat 3 to 10 times the following phrases silently or out loud: “May I be happy. May I be healthy? May I be safe? May I live with ease?”
3. Loving-Kindness Journal
Set aside time each day to write down the acts of kindness you have seen or experienced.
As you jot down the random acts of kindness you see, reflect on the impact of these moments of kindness and give thanks that there are kind, generous people in the world.
Reflection prompt
What do you notice about your mood or behaviour as a result of doing a loving-kindness practice?
Mindfulness meditation exercise #3 Mindful Breathing
My key to inner calm is learning to breathe correctly, and using my breath as an anchor whenever I feel overwhelmed and despair that things “will never change” is my key to inner calm.
Here’s a beginner-friendly mindful breathing exercise you can try today.
- Sit in a comfortable seated position or lie on your back on your bed or yoga mat; turn your attention to your breath.
- Witness how you are breathing today; maybe you can hear the sound of the breath flowing through the back of your throat.
- Gradually, take a steady breath in through your nose and slowly exhale through your nose.
- Remain still and focus on the movement and any sensations you may notice as you breathe — from your belly to your ribs and upper chest.
- Any time you notice your attention wandering away from observing your breath, acknowledge your thoughts and gently bring your awareness back to the breath.
- Continue noticing the breath for 2–5 minutes.
Reflection prompt
How did it feel to put your full attention on your breath? What impact did this have on your state of mind?
Final reflections
Taking time to express gratitude, extending loving-kindness phrases to yourself and being aware of how you breathe are core mindfulness meditation tools you can use anytime you feel upset and worried and restore inner balance.
They won’t cure or stop the world’s ills or make everyone fall in love with you, but the practices help self-soothe your nervous system and invite a sense of inner calm and peace in your day.
Give them a go, and I’d love to know what difference the exercises make to your mood.
Want more support to be happy and live in peace?
Click here for your free PDF guide to 21 Affirmations for Self-love and Healing. Thank you.
I originally published this article on Medium where you may read my other inspirational articles.
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